Matrix-Analytic Methods in Stochastic Models

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This is where I got bogged down. You're expected to itemize and put a reasonable and provable dollar value on each and every significant item that a you brought into the marriage, and b that you have in your possession at the time of signing the Statement.

So, off you go for the next two months or so trying to track down bills for stuff you purchased before your marriage, getting your bank to print out reams of paper for your bank account and IRA balances the day before your marriage which is quite involved and expensive if that date was more than 10 years ago, and if, like me, you switched banks several times due to moves between cities, and like me some of those cities were foreign , gathering slips of paper to prove the outstanding balance of your mortgage and your company stocks before you married, the value of the car and motorcycle and canoe and what-have-you on the two dates, and ad infinitum.

In the meanwhile, your lawyer has enlisted the services of an actuary to determine the value of your company pension plan at both dates. These calculations can be quite complex and subject to plenty of actuarial best-guessing.


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You're finally through with it—signed and delivered to your spouse's lawyer. Now you find out that it's the duty of the other lawyer to go over your figures carefully and demand proof of anything in question. So back you go to the books and the appraisers and the banks for further proof of anything contested.

Appraisals or valuations may also be requested for such things as the value of a business.

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With the possible exception of folks who are meticulous record-keepers, gathering the necessary evidence to support your Net Worth document can be a nightmare. All I can advise here is "keep at it," since the problem won't get solved by itself. It's easy to procrastinate, but it's unlikely that you'll be able to proceed meaningfully until the financial information is deemed complete, accurate, and acceptable by "the other side.

And here's where the trust and goodwill you've been building during your separation—by treating your ex with courtesy, scrupulous honesty, and kindness—starts to pay off. In our case, my ex-wife recognized that the delays and expense in obtaining some of the documentation simply wasn't worth the couple of hundred bucks she might have gained in the ultimate property division.

She knows—because I demonstrated it to her over and over again—that I have no desire to cheat her or our children out of anything. We agreed that the dollars are far better spent on our children than on appraiser and bank fees. Division of Property The details of property division can vary substantially from state to state, but here is a brief outline of what generally happens during this phase of your divorce:. One of the prime reasons for the full financial disclosure by each spouse is to arrive at this equitable distribution of marital property.

Other considerations include future earning capacity, tax consequences, and any pre- or antenuptial agreements. Financial support The other reason for the financial disclosure is to itemize your income and expenses actual and proposed so that the lawyers or the court can decide if one of the spouses should provide financial support to the other. If children are involved, the non-custodial parent will usually have to pay a set monthly amount for Child Support, according to support guidelines.

Another amount may be determined payable for Spousal Support or Maintenance formerly called "Alimony".

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Each of these amounts will have a set start and end date. Typically, child support continues until the children are 21 or until they finish their university education, but it may terminate prematurely if a child chooses to move away from home and separate him or herself from parental influence or control or drops out of school. Maintenance payments may continue for a year or more, or even for life in the case of longer marriages. These payments are generally intended to "allow the former spouse to continue the lifestyle to which he or she was accustomed," Wildstein says, or in a shorter marriage, to help the former spouse get back on his or her feet again: the payments could be used for university tuition and may include additional money for daycare for the children while he or she attends classes, which should help the former spouse to become gainfully employed in due course.

Child Custody and Visitation Rights The Support Agreement or the Divorce Judgment will stipulate the custody of the children under 18 years of age and the visitation rights by the non-custodial parent.


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  5. If you have kids, these items are surely the most important in your agreement, especially if your separation has been anything less than amicable. If there's even a hint that one parent will file for sole custody, you really need to consult a competent lawyer. Initially, both natural parents have equal rights to custody. When you separate, you can still maintain this joint custody arrangement, although one of the parents may spend a disproportionate amount of time actually caring for the children.

    You and your spouse need to work out the custody arrangements. If you can't work it out for instance, if both of you insist on sole custody , then the court will have to decide for you. In all cases, the judge will put the best interests of the children first and foremost. Even if sole custody is granted, the court recognizes that in the majority of cases, the children are best off when both parents are involved in their upbringing. Discuss any concerns with your lawyer. As with the custody decision, the courts prefer that you and your spouse work out access or visitation rights.

    My ex-wife and I have written into our agreement that I have access to the children every second weekend including the extra days of long weekends , three weeks during the summer holidays, and a week at Christmas. The agreement also spells out reasonable amounts of unencumbered communication by telephone, fax, e-mail, and regular mail. As I mentioned, she and I have a very amicable relationship, so I can and do enjoy seeing the kids at other times. I know that she appreciates me spending the extra time with them as much as the children enjoy seeing me.

    The point of putting my access rights into the agreement is to protect my interests if for whatever reason our relationship should turn sour.

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    While this is an extremely remote possibility in my situation, having everything in writing is a simple insurance policy: my rights are protected by law. With all of the necessary financial, custody, support, and visitation issues on the table, it's time to determine whether you're able to work out any disagreements and reach a settlement, or if a trial is required to hear the matters before a judge. You should consider very carefully any suggestion that your problems can only be resolved by a trial.

    The timing of this one-time panel meeting varies from county to county, but it generally takes place several months before the trial. Of course you shouldn't forgo your legal right to a trial if there is true necessity—such as an impasse over whose custody is truly best for the children, or an honest disagreement in the valuation of a major asset. But the courtroom should only be used as a last resort; it's definitely not the place to try and get even with your ex for dumping you for his or her secretary.

    And remember that every dollar spent is a dollar that would've been much better spent on the children. The Divorce Judgment Once you and your spouse sign your agreement and all the required affidavits and other forms for an uncontested divorce, all of your documents are submitted to the court clerk for review. If everything is in order, the papers are then sent to a judge, who will then sign the Judgment of Divorce or Divorce Decree , and your marriage is over.

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    Once the judge has signed the Judgment, you are legally divorced. Shortly thereafter, the county clerk will "enter" it, making the divorce judgment part of the court's official records. Now, it's time to celebrate—or more likely, to reflect back on the happy times of your marriage and wonder again how things went so wrong.

    In any case, you are now free to remarry if you wish. Greg Reid is a divorced father of three. He believes that divorce can be civilized if both parties are committed to making it so. This article was completed with the help of attorneys Susan Kunstler and Dolores Walker. Follow today. Start here: Do you really want a divorce? Do you need a lawyer? After a divorce, you may feel like you have been buried underneath a significant amount of problems.

    Divorce For Dummies

    You have to deal with the fact that half of your assets are no longer there. You may be settled with paying alimony and child support and may be forced to cut costs and spending, in order to stabilize your finances. You may have to deal with no With men facing the prospect of divorce, there can be a certain amount of fear attached with the experience. Not only does this mean you are no longer with the person you promised to love and cherish forever, but with the division of assets and the responsibilities of alimony and child support that are often ascribed to men, you may be facing a dire financial For men, the idea of receiving alimony can seem like a foreign concept.